One of the first responses to losing a loved one, a possession, or a way of life, is denial.
You have probably heard people say, "Oh, she's in denial," and chances are, it never really rang true, until you lost something, yourself.
Denial is a natural way for our minds to adapt to our new realities. It's one way how we protect ourselves against the emotions we feel about what we've just lost.
Dodging the situation gives us more time to adjust and become more comfortable with our new life changes.
You may see certain behaviors come to the surface at the beginning of your transition to accepting your outcome.
You may think that you will get what you have lost back someday.
You imagine that maybe, later, you will have "that" again.
Trying to wrap your head around the thing to figure it out, you estimate that if you could just shuffle some priorities around in your life, you would somehow find more room for what is missing.
You may spend a lot of time focusing on how to make it all work out.
Wholeheartedly, you believe that you can make it okay.
For a while, you may try your best to get the object, person, or life back that you once had. You look for ways to get back to "normal" again.
These aren't bad things to be doing. We all try to hang on tightly to the things we love.
And why wouldn't we? They've carved a special place in our hearts, and made our lives more worth it, in some way.
In fact, it's entirely okay to embrace where you are and allow yourself to heal.
Give yourself plenty of space to stretch your thinking.
Because the real results that something is truly gone in your life (or at least for the moment), will be proven to you by your own observations.
In due time, you will begin to see that it's not going to work out, and that whatever it was is really gone.
When you are eased in your heart enough to face up to what life has given to you, is when you can expect to notice your mind shifting to another place in your journey with grief.
